Saturday, November 18, 2006


- Smart bombs are almost exclusively utilized by dumb leaders.

- Stand near a vacuum cleaner, swallow copious spoonfuls of freeze dried coffee and you shall have enough energy to deal with boring relatives and their annoying children. This is called the Theory of Special Relatives: E = mc2. Where E = your energy level, is directly proportional to m (your mass i.e. body weight) multiplied by C2 ( coffee intake squared i.e. caffeine overdose). Einstein was right, apparently.

- For those celebrating the resignation of Rumsfeld, please take the time out to peruse the background on his replacement, Robert M. Gates. Gates (ex-CIA) was directly involved with the Iran contra fiasco, and happened to integrate the Iraq Study Group (ISG). ISG's main objective was to ensure the continuity of the US Military agenda in the Middle East. Gates nomination serves the interest of the Texas oil companies and the military industrial complex. (So, no change there). For supporters of the Democratic Party, this information always results in shock, dismay and necessitates a change of underwear.

- A flotilla of icebergs, some as big as houses, were spotted south of New Zealand for the first time in living memory. One would expect witnesses to react with fear and trepidation at what is most likely signs of global warming but no. Tourists paid up to $330 dollars to fly over these icebergs to get a closer look. Scientific jury is still out on the origins of these ice houses but I can hazard a guess that it is not a very good sign to have colossal, building-sized pieces of Antarctic ice shelf float by your country's coastline.

- The say there's light at the end of the tunnel. In my view, it is most likely a single headlight freight train speeding towards you, so best turn around and run like hell in the opposite direction.

- With the US mid-term election hullabaloo, most used this electoral exercise as the gauge to judge America's future. Most failed to notice that Bush very conveniently signed into law a provision that revises the Insurrection Act. He did this same day when he signed the Military Commissions Act of 2006. The two laws are complimentary. One allows him the power to declare martial law at home and the other authorizes for torture and detention abroad. I think these laws are better indicators for America's future, don't you think? Time for supporters of the Democratic Party to change their underpants again.

- Al Jazeera English is the first 24 hour news channel headquartered in the Middle East. An antidote to BBC, CNN and Fox News, the launch of Al Jazeera must have really chapped the arse of the likes of Rupert Murdoch. But I am sure the Pentagon must be happy with its launch. They finally have more clearly identified Al Jazeera bureau targets to bomb the crap out of (and all accidentally, I might add).

- Nancy Pelosi is the first woman Speaker of the House-elect. Some say that is a good thing. But you should also be aware that Pelosi, although critical of Bush and is anti-Iraq war, completely snubbed the calls for Bush's impeachment after being appointed to the post. In addition, the lady in question is also a strong supporter of the Military Commissions Act and the staunchest supporter of AIPAC (the strongest Israeli-American Lobby in DC, which incidentally was recently busted on spying on the United States). According to Pelosi, "… the history of the (Palestinian and Israeli) conflict, is not over occupation, and never has been: it is over the fundamental right of Israel to exist." Perhaps, she needs to holiday a few days in Gaza and West Bank and find out from the Palestinians think about her views. So in conclusion, A woman becoming the first Speaker of the House – a very good thing. Nancy Pelosi being that woman – a very, very bad thing.

- Reminder to all the sheep: A retaliatory or random rocket attack by Hamas into Israel is a terrorist attack. A planned, deliberate bombing of innocent Palestinians (primarily women and children) by the IDF is either an accident or self-defense. Got that?! Don't ever qualify IDF as state terrorists. Thank you for listening.

- A couple decided to snuggle and kiss on a Southwest Airlines flight out of Los Angeles. This made the other passengers uncomfortable, and as a result the couple was arrested under the Patriotic Act and could now face up to twenty years in a federal prison. Makes you feel really confident flying within the US, doesn't it? By the way, I am not making this up, this story is absolutely true. I plan to make a film about this incident and call it "SNOGS ON A PLANE".

- A country (USA) possessing 10,000 nuclear, at 18 locations, in 12 states and 6 European countries, along with another country (Israel) with (undeclared) close to two hundred nuclear weapons feels threatened by a third country (Iran) which has no (declared or undeclared) nuclear weapons at all. I am the only one to see the absurdity of this situation?

- Now go watch celebrity Jeopardy with Donald Rumsfeld. This is another piece of the puzzle. My question is how the fudge do you lose 2.3 Trillion dollars and get away with it?


Blogger in2deep said...

my friend, you are brilliant!

5:34 PM  
Blogger Shahid said...

Great insight, astute observations, thank God for people like you sir!

BTW - do people here realise that Hamas was actually funded and set up by Israel to form some religious competition to the PLO in order to splinter the secular Arab support?

And do people realise also that radical Islam was fostered and financed by the CIA in order to help America fight the Soviets in Afghanistan - a war which by the way, was not actually started by the Soviet Union...

It's good to have a post from you again sir, keep it up!!

8:31 PM  
Blogger Jaded said...

Thank God for such randomness that makes more sense and opens more eyes than the whole lot of non-randomness we are fed every moment...

Welcome back! :)

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Woah! Such a whole lot in one post. I too am very happy about this Al-Jazeera English channel (though i dont get it in my place), also quite impressed by the list of people they have managed to bring into their ranks.

Keep up the good work!

1:53 AM  
Blogger Umar Pirzada said...

WOW...that actually made sense...good one...

excpet for maybe the E=mc2 part...

3:38 PM  
Blogger neha vish said...

Snogs!?! ROTFL!

11:11 PM  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

lol at E=mc2!!!

Well I tell ya, when people rejoice over US leaders being replaced by new ones, I generally brace myself.

ATleast with the bad you already have, you know what you have.

When a new player comes in, it's a whole new learning curve and he or she often turns out to be worse than the last one.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Hina said...

Just wanted to let you know that I was here...

10:52 AM  
Blogger BuJ said...

very true.. especially about Iran.. how about me? I'm neither a state nor do I have any kinda nukes.. i wonder how scared are the first two countries of me?

6:06 PM  

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