Me: What the heck are you doing?
Me: You've been staring at this blank page for the last half hour, and you haven't written a word.
I: I know, I was trying to gather my thoughts.
Me: Any success?
I: Yes, I've identified everything I don't want to write about.
Me: Which leaves?
I: Very little of relevance.
Me: Oh! So you're working under the assumption that so far your blog posts have been relevant?
I: Good point. Perhaps not all but may be one or two.
Me: A bit full of yourself, aren't you?
I: One has to be, especially when dealing with the likes of you.
Me: That is pretty surreal of you.
I: Blame yourself.
Me: Why don't you regurgitate the same 'political' drivel that you've posted earlier?
I: That would be repetitive. I've addressed the same subject matter in different posts before but I try at least to present it in a new light.
Me: Do you realize how utterly pretentious that sounded?
I: I do unfortunately but there is a semblance of truth to it.
Me: Listen, you're boring the crap out of me. Don't think too much. Just write anything and get it over with!
I: That's a fine attitude for a blogger.
Me: Hey! Don't knock it until you've tried it. Besides, it does work for a lot of people.
I: Not for me. I need to think out clearly what I want to write about or else it won't work.
Me: You arrogant git! You think your posts get read?
I: Yes they do… well sometimes anyway.
Me: I've seen the stats to your site and you'd be lucky if you even get two hits a day.
I: I don't really care. I write for myself primarily, anyway.
Me: What a massive whopper of lie. Who do you think you are talking to anyway?
I: Okay fine, I write for other people as well sometimes but mostly it is for me.
Me: Your pants are still on fire!
I: Oh, bugger off!
Me: Why should I? I finally got a chance to set you straight.
I: What's your problem you daft prat?
Me: You! You are my problem. Nothing you've written so far is of any importance. You words are shite. And I know 'funny' and you aren't even in a 100 mile radius of even something remotely amusing.
I: You're just jealous. I have a tinge of funny in all my posts and you know it.
Me: No, I don't! In fact, I'd go so far as to say that you're posts are so pathetically sad, that they've actually made me cry.
I: At least it invokes some reaction.
Me: Yes, but the wrong one!
I: Why are you getting so emotional? Calm the hell down.
Me: You piss me off, that's why.
I: So what do you want me to do? Quit blogging?
Me: Yes, why not? It'll save me the headache of your incessant rants.
I: Just for that, I will continue blogging.
Me: Not if I can help it.
I: What are you going to do?
Me: Continue to interrupt you while you are pretending to be writing something of importance.
I: Like now you mean?
Me: Yes. You haven't written anything so far. I still see the blank page, which obviously means that my ploy is working.
I: Actually, it hasn't worked. You've just given me enough content for a full post, if I just type out this conversation.
Me: You can't do that?!
I: Why not? It is my blog and I can post anything I like.
Me: Because you'll look like a schizophrenic dweeb to all your readers, that's why!
I: I thought you said I'd be lucky if I get two hits a day on my blog, so why are you so worried?
Me: Because it would be frightfully embarrassing if even one person reads this post.
I: You know you shouldn't have said that because now I'll definitely have to write this as a post.
Me: No, you won't, I know you. You'll chicken out.
I: Oh? Is that a dare?
I: Alright then.
Me: No, wait, wait! You can't do this. Stop!!...