Sunday, July 23, 2006

O-BITCH-UARY

Collective Conscience, 82, of block one of World Avenue, died Sunday, July 23, 2006.

Mr. Conscience was a retired secretary for the Peoples Inc. He was the head of the Moral Society of Human Beings and the founding member of the Ethical Committee of the Global Race. Mr. Conscience's tragic death occurred during a bombing raid by state terrorists. His wife Deeds and brother Actions also fell victim to the attack.

Mr. Conscience is survived by his daughter Silence and son Apathy.

A memorial service will be held on Monday, July 24th, 2006 at the Olive Ream Cemetery.

The family requests that memorials may be made in the comments section.

Mass burial will be held at 10:30 am or whenever a bulldozer is available to dig a big enough grave.

May the Collective Conscience rest in pieces, and those responsible burn in hell!

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Thanks to Shaheen Malik for this link.

Friday, July 14, 2006

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

Category: Croackpot cooking
Yield: Endless servings of bulls**t
Ingredients: 
4 lbs Palestinian Oppression
2 lbs Palestinian Apartheid and inhumane conditions
2 table spoons(ts) of Hamas extremists (including the
original Mossad funded type)
3 oz Hezbollah retaliation
1 large clove of Media Bias towards Israel
2 large ts of stinging IDF attacks
10 kilos pre-planned Israeli Air assault
5 cups of globalist agenda
1 Large packet of Apathy and Indifference


Method:
Pour the 5 cups of globalist agenda in to a large pot.
Add Palestinian oppression, apartheid and inhumane
conditions and bring to boil. Stir in Mossad funded
Hamas extremism, if regular Hamas extremism does not
achieve desired results. Increase heat and add the
two tea spoons of IDF attacks. Let it simmer 5 minutes.
Now, add half a clove of Media Bias until it all starts
to smell bad.
Stir the pot and slowly add the Hezbollah retaliation. Now
add the disproportionate amount of pre-planned Israeli Air
assault. Add the other half clove of media bias until
the stench becomes unbearable. Increase heat and let the
whole situation cook into an all-out, incontrollable war.
Disregard the resulting human death toll of innocent
civilians (Palestinians and Israelis), put them in
a separate bowl and ignore.
Finally spoon out the contents into a large porcelain
serving dish and sprinkle heavily with finally chopped
Apathy and Indifference. Add Total Ignorance to taste.
Serves millions
Ensure that all leftovers are sealed in a air-tight bag
and placed in the freezer until needed for future attacks
on Syria and Iran and served either as cold 'self defense'
or spicy (hellish) 'war on terror'.
MMMMM……enjoy!

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Note: For those watching CNN and BBC, please make it a point
check this out as well. [Warning: Graphic/Disturbing images]

Friday, July 07, 2006

HEADLINES

-Al Qaeda runs out of video and audio tapes – DHS left clueless to Bin Laden's next move

-New Metal detectors to be installed in all Kindergarten schools – Eye scan also mandatory for all new students

-Brits propose Blair vacation in Baghdad - outside the green zone

-Bush follows Blair to Baghdad, detailed vacation itinerary available on White House web site

-North Korea launches 745th missile test. US says no military intervention necessary

-Iran talks about its own missile test. US says pre-emptive strike on Iran by tomorrow

-Al Qaeda stop using the internet – FBI says "no fair!"

-Tragic! Britney Spears herself (accidentally) – celebrations held at The Olive Ream

-Nokia Launches new mobile phone 2880 Retro – first cell phone that is just a phone and does not include an MP3 player, a voice recorder, a camera, games and a Cuisinart.

-Hamas official sneezes – Israeli tanks move into southern Gaza

-John Bolton chokes on own mustache while trying to kiss himself

-Rumsfeld visits VA hospital in full security – still gets beaten up by in-patient veterans

-Dick Cheney accidentally shoots a bird while hunting for lawyers

-US military personnel arrest 47th number 2 guy in Al Qaeda

-Department of Homeland Security change Threat Level to 'High' – based on DHS Secretary's gut feeling

-Allen Dershowitz claims there are no Israeli lobbys influencing the US foreign policy – also claims sky is red

-Fox News officially syndicated by the Comedy Central Network. – declared as funniest show on the network

-Florida hit by 30th Category 5 hurricane of the season – Bush say's "what global warming?"

-US Poll: 37% students cannot identify US on a map. 63% cannot identify a map

-Bush requested by students to sketch the image of his brain – draws a blank

Sunday, July 02, 2006

STAR-SCRAMBLED BUMMER


O say, can you see, 19 terrorist's take flight,
What so proudly we hail'd as the Al Qaeda's evil scheming.

With a broad beard and beady eyes, he laid claim to this perilous fight,

O'er CNN we watch'd, the attack on W.T.C.

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof thro' the night that we attacked
Iraq instead.
O say, does it matter that there were no WMDs?

O'er the land of large oil reserves and the home of new strategic military bases.

On other shore dimly seen thro' our satellite surveillance cameras,
Where the foe's naughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which we see, o'er the border, in Iran,
An 'allegedly' suspect nuclear program it half conceals, half discloses.
Now it catches the gleam of the Neoconic dream,
To pre-emptively attack in full glory, another sovereign nation in full stream
'Tis the star-scrambled bummer: O, another faux war
O'er the another land of large oil reserves and the home of strategic military advantage for Israel's sake.

And here is that band who so vauntingly swore
To create the havoc of war and in the battle's confusion,
remove citizens' rights and corrode the constitution.

Iraqi blood has wash'd out their foul footsteps' pollution (or so they think).
No refuge could save the citizen slave
From the terror of (another) faux impending attack or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-scrambled bummer in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the indifferent and the home of the unlawfully detained.

O thus be it never when free-men shall stand
Between their home and the war's desolation;
Blest with Globalism, may the corporate-sponsored land
Praise the Pow'r that hath made this a complete fascist nation
Then conquer we must, no matter how clearly unjust,
And this be our motto: “In avarice we trust!”
And the star-scrambled bummer in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the controlled and the home of the scared!

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Inspired by