Thursday, June 08, 2006


X: Psst! Did you see this story in the newspaper?

Y: Yes, I did. Another 'alleged' terrorist arrested attempting to blow-up a building.

X: Say, are you a Pakinisian?

Y: No I am not a Pakistani, but I am of Arab origin, if that's what you meant.

X: Don't it bother you that so many Moslems are dying in Iraq?

Y: Yes it does but it isn't just Iraq.

X: You must do something about it.

Y: Like what?

X: Take some action, buddy!

Y: I do protest by writing my opinions on a few websites and…

X: Nobody reads that! You must take action. You must retaliate against what is happening to you Moslems.

Y: Retaliate? You mean protest on the streets against the government?!

X: No, no! What good would that do? Plus, you could get arrested for doing that these days.

Y: So what are you suggesting?

X: You know, blow some stuff up…it'll get you the attention.

Y: Ah! I see, well…let me just say that you might have mistaken me for an escapee from the mental asylum but I assure you I am not. In fact, I will go further to suggest that you commit yourself in an institution.

X: Oh, c'mon! Do it! Do it for your Moslem brothers and sisters. Here, I've got details instructions on the 'How To' in these notes, in Arabic. I'll just stuff this in your bagpack.

Y: Piss off! … and stop sniffing diesel oil, it's killing your brain cells.

X: I've got these blue-prints for various prominent locations and I…

Y: Go sell crazy to someone else. In fact, let me direct you to the Department of Homeland Security. They desperately need loons like you to parade on television.

X: Well, how about some bags of fertilizer I have stored in my warehouse. I can give those to you and other household items to build your self some dangerous explosive and then you..

Y: I don’t need bags of fertilizer from you!! There's enough bullshit coming out of your mouth to fertilize most of Wyoming. Now, leave!

X: Listen brother. I've already have you assigned as a leader to our yet undisclosed organization. I've been following you for months, and by the way, the instructions, blue prints, 80 bags of fertilizer and 8 large thin crust pizzas are being delivered to your home as we speak.

Y: Who the hell are you?!

X: I am undercover officer of the Anti-Terror squad, and you my friend, are under arrest!

Y: WTF?! What for?!

X: For being the leader of an evil terror organization that was planning to attack prominent landmarks and we have the evidence to prove it, as it has just been delivered to your home.

Y: This is a bloody set-up!! I want to call my lawyer..

X: You don’t get a lawyer, remember? You are classified as 'enemy combatant'. Now do me a favor, just keep your mouth shut and don’t shave for the next few days because we've got the PR press photos planned for this bust for Tuesday and we need you looking evil and beardy.

Y: Sigh.

X: Don’t sulk. You'll be famous. You might even be qualified as so dangerous that DHS will shift the threat level up one category and that is something you can be really proud of.


Inspired by this


Blogger heewa said...


2:57 PM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

It would be hilarious if it were entirely fiction. But its closer to the truth than most imagine. The fact is that there's a whole bunch of bastards on both sides of the divide!!! And a full-time Department of Divide & Clash working overtime.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

This is exactly what I have been going arond thinking for a long time. These days anyone can fit a terrorist profile, and you better believe some will be made to fit it wether they are or not.

A book must be written about this paranoid and increasingly dangerous world.

Great writing, you highlighted the simplicity in it, yet a complex situation it is especially in disproving such occurences.

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Checkmate said...

I am not laughing. This too true to be humorous. God bless us all

4:45 PM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

checkmate, satire is never meant to be funny when it is so close to the truth. I am highlighting a frightening reality that actually exists in the world today. Most people are unwilling to see the truth..

4:58 PM  
Anonymous malang said...

It so truly shows how vulnerable we are.
A Phd student at my university is very thin, wears kameez shalwar a lot and has an identical beard to u know whom.
When he was moving in his apartment near the campus, all his stuff was packed in cartons(and not the proper set of moving boxes from Home Depot).
You can bet he looked suspicious to half a dozen people and they called the cops.

On another note....i don't know why it reminded me of the movie CRASH

6:18 PM  
Blogger vintage said...

omg! i luv this!

6:22 PM  
Blogger mAn[S]o0r said...

ouch! entrapment 2 da extreme! but its so scary!

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Ayasha said...

Thank you Mr. Omer, you present us with a perfect picture of what has gone wrong in the world of Islam.

Blame, excuse, deny.

9:31 PM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Thank you for your comments. Apparently, you haven't read my other articles on this site to get a clearer understanding of my perspective.

I would never Blame (others), excuse, or deny the actions of terrorists be they Ossama, Al Zarkawi or G.W. Bush. I think they should all be caught, held accountable for their crimes and then appropriately punished. (Al zarkawi is dead now and he deserved his comeuppance).

Although I despise terrorism and terrorists, I will not remain blinded to the fact that in this so called War On Terror, there are also some arrests of innocent people who have been detained under trumped up charges and false claims. They are being claimed as 'terrorists' while they are not. There's enough evidence on the net if you just care to look for yourself.

The purpose for my post was to highlight such cases. Because it apparent and evidently clear that most in the mainstream haven't so far and won't dare to.

Nothing is black and white. If you are comfortable by the official version of events which you source through mainstream media (including FOX, CNN and BBC) then you may remain comforted and clueless to the whole is your choice.

I suppose you think ALL the detainees in Guantanamo are/were terrorists. Even those who were under the age of 14 when they were first arrested and detained.

You may also choose to believe that all the 'rendition' cases conducted by CIA were to do with torture of 'real' terrorists and did not include innocent people. You may choose to believe that but it is not true.

Have the audacity to see the evils on both it radical extremists group like Al Qaeda who kill innocent people under the name of Islam or state sponsored torture and murder committed by government(s) under the name of 'War On Terror'. They are both equally evil and unjust.

12:36 AM  
Blogger Jaded said...

Hits remarkably close to home.. Too strangely true to be called fiction! Very well written!

11:42 AM  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

hey Omer I tagged you on popular demand. hope to learn more about you. Check out my blog.

2:03 AM  
Blogger Shahid said...


Perilously close to the truth though...

Xymphora as usual has written about this incident in a v ery insightful way.

You have gone one step further and shone the light of truth on it with your usual brilliant satire. Awesome work Omer. Awesome.

(And there's no need to defend yourself against navel-gazing apologists who don't see the greater evil and would rather believe the hype)

1:36 PM  
Anonymous Moderate Enlightenment said...

An excellent post. Muslims (or for that matter, Brazilian electricians) living in Western countries can all too readily identify with the scenario - it is a sad indictment of the 'modern' society we live in, that such witch-hunts are no longer restricted to the dictators lording over 'Muslim' countries, but have become rather common and prevalent in the UK, the US and other similar 'kleptocracies'.

Is it all restricted to the neo-cons though? I think that is where I may have to disagree with you - it was the very 'progressive' and allegedly liberal Herr Clinton who decided that ravaging a Sudanese medicine-factory was a suitable way to project American power....

No, they are not all the same, but is it merely a question of degree? After all, one of the key Democratic contenders for '08 (none other than Frau Clinton)is more hawkish on Iran than GWB himself.

11:05 PM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Moderate Enlightment,
Thank you for your comments. My posts primarily do happen to target the Neocons as the subject of satire, but trust me in regards to this post and in general I was not just targeting the Neocons. I totally agree with you that Clinton, Kerry and the like are equally responsible to blame for such an attitude and deeds. As far as Frau Clinton is concerned, she will sell her own family to please those who fund her campaign or side with those who are more powerful.

Fascist tendencies are certainly not the monopoly of the Neocons and the Bush administration..

11:16 PM  
Anonymous Moderate Enlightenment said...

Thank you for the reply, and the clarification.

Fascist tendencies are certainly not the monopoly of the Neocons and the Bush administration...

Indeed. And though I instinctively cringe whenever I hear the neo-cons use the label "Islamo-fascist" as a blanket-term to describe any politically aware Muslim, I fear there is nonetheless some merit in the argument that the political ideology of some Muslim "radicals" also borders on fascism.

12:40 AM  

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