Friday, June 16, 2006

SMITE THE ANTI-SEMITES

Me: Hey, I have an idea for an article. Why don't I comment about the new head Office of Global Anti-Semitism?

Me2: Are you nuts?! Not with your kind of sarcastic drivel!

Me: But why?! I really want to!

Me2: No way, think of another topic to write about.

Me: Alright then, how about Ernst Zundel?

Me2: What are you an idiot? Zundel's a holocaust revisionist!

Me: I know, and apparently he admired Hitler as well, but I am just curious to research and write about why he says what he says.

Me2: You're dying for an ass kicking aren't you? Choose another topic!

Me: David Irving?

Me2: He is a holocaust denier! Don't you dare!

Me: Alright then, how about I write about the Israeli government's recent move regarding…

Me2: Stop right there! Just be aware that any strong criticism against Israeli leaders is considered Anti-Semitic by the Office of Global Anti-Semitism.

Me: Well, that's not fair, is it? Alright, how about the undeniable Jewish influence on the mainstream media in the US and Europe?

Me2: That claim is categorized as Anti-Semitism of the highest order.

Me: Bugger! What about the Jewish slant of Hollywood?

Me2: Sorry, that is considered Anti-Semitism as well.

Me: Jewish lobbies controlling the Congress and Whitehouse?

Me2: Now, you are just trying to piss me off! You know the answer: Anti-Semitism.

Me: So basically, I can't talk about Israel, Israeli nationals, Israeli government, Israeli foreign policy, Israeli threat?

Me2: Of course you can! You can't just say anything negative because then it could be classified as Anti-Semitism.

Me: Surely, I can write about the IDF and Mossad?

Me2: Not with your opinions you cannot!...you'll land yourself in a whole heap of trouble.

Me: How about Jewish people, Jewish culture, Jewish religion?

Me2: Has to be all positive or else it could be considered as you-know-what.

Me: So what the heck should I write about that would be considered PRO-SEMITE and won't piss off the office of Global Anti-Semitism.

Me2: How about something inane?...like the recent DVD you saw.

Me: Passion of the Christ.

Me2: No way! Write about music.

Me: Madonna?

Me2: Careful! She is devout follower of some of the teachings of the Kabbalah, so better not discuss her.

Me: I thought she was Catholic?

Me2: It doesn't matter you idiot! She is rich enough to follow any religion she pleases.

Me: I know I'll write about the movie E.T. and …

Me2: Brilliant!

Me:…how much I hated it.

Me2: Hang on, no! That is dangerous territory.

Me: Oh, come on! Criticizing the film ET or Steven Spielberg's direction of it, is not Anti-Semitism!

Me2: Well it is bound to become eventually, so best avoid it.

Me: Well then, I have no other topic left other than to write about definition of Semite, which includes people of Near East and Northern Africa, including Arabs and..

Me2: Don't even go there!

15 Comments:

Blogger Teeth Maestro said...

I kind of like the Me2 in you :) its probably far more level-headed then ME :)

Great narration

10:37 PM  
Blogger Jaded said...

Now you see Master Guru! this is what a meaningful discussion with various MEs should be like! You could always discuss Schindler's List and/or Munich?

11:35 PM  
Anonymous knicq said...

First time at your place...loving it.

3:18 AM  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

lol well I have to say, people talk about muslims' self censorship and that may be so...but nothing can compare to the massive self censorhip we go through trying to avoid pushing the wrong buttons concerning jews and anti-semitism, even when our motive isn't to do so. When I wrote my post about Kosher wine I felt the need to be very careful with what words I used...prudence to a certain degree can be refreshing but the Me2 just needs to step.

7:34 AM  
Blogger The Prophecy said...

Me2 is a state of mind.

I have devised a way around this, which is actually the way for me: don't talk about anti-anyism. Talk about Me-ism. Watch it grow. Talk more. Make me-ism grow larger.

Action beats reaction.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Shirazi said...

I go with me2. Let it out.

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Moderate Enlightenment said...

Brilliant post and so true - when it is "anti-Semitic" to merely point out that an 'Israel Lobby' may exist, and may exercise some (not wholly benign) influence, satire seems to be the only retort available - that, and pulling one's hair out (and I have already been there, done that).

You do have a wonderful gift of coming up with just the right words with which to puncture the sheer pomposity and the mind-blowing arrogance that governs 'modern' political discourse :-)

11:23 AM  
Blogger Imaan On Ice said...

Putting words on something we all know too well...

Great blog!

2:48 PM  
Blogger Anwaar Hussain said...

me3 quotes Zundel;

"The mere fact that you belong to a certain ethnic group makes you eternally guilty, according to the twisted logic of Zionism. If Germans who were not even born before 1945 must pay reparations to the State of Israel, which did not exist until 1948, then you can be included in the Zionist racket of reparations and revenge."

Excellent Omer. Be careful though.

4:03 PM  
Blogger sabizak said...

It was almost cathartic reading this. Like being able to say something, some way at least, if only through the medium of sarcastic wit.
ZABARDAST!

6:58 PM  
Blogger Pyschofloobicologist said...

Now tht...was well blogged!!!
and as far as the disclaimer is concerned...naa...i knw ppl get offended really easily and i could get thrown into jail(BLASPHEMY LAW...) or my blog could be banned..loll!!!

11:19 PM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:33 AM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

I am glad you put in a Wikipedia link to David irving ... At least people will know that he is a slug. [Readers are especially directed to his comment on Sir Trevor McDonald]

Of course none of what he says regarding the Holocaust warrants his being labeled a 'criminal' - done under the most blatantly anti-Freedom_of_Speech law that exists in countries that consider themselves Free and Enlightened. Lunacy is not a crime! If it were, we'd have to cordon off the White House.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Ramana Siddharth said...

back here after a while...ur political humour n sattire is rite in place...keep it up..

9:50 AM  
Blogger BettyWu said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:58 AM  

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