Wednesday, May 24, 2006

DEMENTIA CODE


While in Washington on a holiday excursion, Yale cryptozoologist Dilbert Tungston receives an urgent late-night SMS message: "Fat, white, bloated dead body discovered in the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum – not part of the exhibit so get here quick! You have to see this!". Next to the body, DCPD find a baffling cipher. Cipher meaning they found absolutely nothing. But Tungston discovers a strange code on the buttocks of the dead fat guy and it reads, "EGRESS – all deposits made from the rear". Solving this enigmatic riddle, Tungston is stunned to discover it leads to a trail of clues hidden in the works of the PNAC…clues visible for all to see…and yet ingeniously disguised by the creators as the War On Terror or WOT - as in WOT the f**k!?.

Tungston soon joins forces with a gifted French proctologist, Soapy Newlo, and learns that the late fat white guy was involved in the Priory of Neocons—an actual secret society whose members now control the White House. The fat dad guy (also known as the Late flatulent git) has sacrificed his life to protect the Priory's most sacred secrets: the former association with (and nurturing of) OBL, the prior knowledge of the nonexistence of WMDs in Iraq and the no 'real' impending threat due to the nuclear enrichment in Iran.

In a hopeless race through Kabul, Baghdad, and beyond, Tungston and Newlo match wits, scratch heads and brush elbows with the faceless powerbrokers who appear to work for Opus Dim—a clandestine, sect of Washington Lobbyists who represent the global elitists who have long tried to seize the Priory's secrets in order to safeguard its secrecy . The Opus believes that the Priory is turning out be a bunch of clueless fascists who can't seem to plug the endless leaks on their massive screw ups all around the world, (including the ones in their pants).. Unless Tungston and Newlo can figure out the truth amongst the labyrinth of planned mainstream news propaganda, the Priory's secrets—and a stunning historical truth (about 9-11)—will remain hidden forever.

In an exhilarating blend of monotonous drivel, gutless wonderment, and frustrating tripe, Dilbert Tungston continues to bore the living crap out of the reader by not being able to see the truth even though it is right in front of him, most of the time. THE DEMENTIA CODE heralds the arrival of a new breed of light-headed, unintelligent thriller…surprisingly dull at every turn, and in the end, totally predictable…right up to its foregone conclusion.

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Inspired by and satirized from DA VINCI CODE (for cathartic purposes only).

9 Comments:

Blogger Shahid said...

LOL! Your timing is impeccable!

2:56 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

You're something!

5:38 AM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

Brilliant review. By the way, did you hear that the Author of The Dementia Code is being sued by Don Hunting for stealing the plot from his work?

(OA: You've done it again! Hilarious.)

6:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMIGOD- I am SERIOUSLY LAUGHING OUT LOUD- you are a Genius my mate- seriously! A Genius!!!

Noninterventionist

8:40 AM  
Blogger mAn[S]o0r said...

Good one! lol! Since i havent read the book nor seen the movie (yet) it took me sometime to realize what it was about! but funny nonetheless !

9:10 AM  
Blogger Mansoor e said...

great work :D :D :D

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Noura said...

I hated the stupid book! But LOVED your review! Hilarious!

10:04 PM  
Blogger Alina said...

Nice work! Your satire is incredibly funny! As for the actual book and movie, you already know my thoughts!

11:25 AM  
Blogger The Prophecy said...

You are delightfully witty and incisive! That was Wildesque. Bravo!

10:27 AM  

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