Wednesday, March 01, 2006

NOTES TO SELF

On the visit to India and Pakistan, avoid trying any spicy local food. Air Force One toilet still clogged up from my last trip to India in 2005. Remind Laura to give me Pepto Bismol after each meal, as a precaution.

Avoid all temptation to ask Doc. Manmohan to try on his turban. He didn't like it the last time I asked.

Sign Nukular Deal with India. (Don't forget to collect my copy of the accord). Remind Doc. Manmohan to send me keys to all of India's civilian, and possibly military, nuclear facilites (so I can send my people to carry out inspections) as soon as we send nukular technology and fuel to India. Ask Condi, what this deal is all about – still don't have a clue what it means!

Don't forget to scare the pants of Doc. Manmohan on Iran's nukular ambition. He must support the US when we go after Iran. There's no flexibility on Iran's nukular issue as India imagines. Ask Condi to back me up on this, as Doc. never believes what I am saying anyway.

Don't forget to stop in Pakistan, and accidentally fly over Pakistan on the way back to Washington. Remind Air Force One pilot of the same.

Exchange pleasantries with Pres. Musharaf and his Mrs. Don't show them copies of Danish Cartoons just because I think they are funny. Condi says the caricatures are blasphemous. Must look up the word 'blasphemous' in dictionary,…and the word 'caricature'.

Don’t forget to give Pervez, his 'Bush meets Mush so Shush! – 2006 Tour' T-shirt.

If Pres. Musharaf asks regarding the delivery of the promised F-16s, tell him that they are on their way like the last 40 times he has asked. Find out from Condi, if these are the ones we ended up using in Iraq when we were running short.

Give Pres. Musharaf a big hug for being such a good ally on my war on terror. Tell him to find some more Al Qaeda number 2s for us to hunt down, before we bomb the crap out another wrong target (killing innocent civilians) due to CIA's flawed guess work.

Give a 'heads-up' to Musharaf regarding Iran, and remind him that we might use Pakistan's airspace during the planned attack so please don't target any of our jets, as they might be carrying tactical nukular weapons, and shooting them down would create hell of mess for both our countries.

Remind Pres. Musharaf not to invite Cheney for his annual hunting expedition in Northern Pakistan. Dick is a bad shot, apparently.

Remind Pres. Musharaf not to worry about my recent and continuously sinking approval rating back in the US. 34% approval (as per CBS poll) is not bad as it matches my IQ!

Ask Condi if we can avoid our stop in Afghanistan. I am already feeling homesick.

21 Comments:

Blogger Caraf said...

LMAO!

awesome post!!!

6:08 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

LOL!!! Superb and funny post!

8:49 PM  
Blogger divya said...

WOW good work!!!!

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny! :)

BTW, I hear him saying 'new-killer' rather than nukuler. He doesn't pronounce 'ku' (kew). He's indeed the new killer in town!

9:09 PM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Caraf, Jo and Divya
thanks very much...
I think what is actually in Bush's head is probably a whole lot funnier...but I can only guess.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi pal,

now that was good, my blues are gone...
keep it up

blog reader in uk

9:16 PM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

cheers anonymous,
you're right about the pronounciation but I could be buggered with phonetics in my rush to satirize the MAN.
I think 'new killer' is rather apt..well done!

9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

just Rollin on the floor laughing.

9:17 PM  
Blogger darsakudu said...

hey buddy,
thats an awesome post!

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Mukul said...

Great work..

10:07 PM  
Blogger Caraf said...

hehehe the dude's in india - must be having a stomach upset by now!

there are sooooooooooo many nice ways to protest hehehe


;)


did u know he's going to 'address the people of india' live on tv tommr evening from this ancient fort in delhi (not red fort, they chose one thats almost already fallen down),
everyone's already laughing their ass off...

6:05 PM  
Blogger Jo said...

@Caraf -- Yeah, that clown has already made an agreement with the clowns here and the clowns in this part of the world say he is going to bringing "development"! I already see some "developments", and lets wait for the climax!

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's a necessary agreement. It's one that will help both our peoples"

George W Bush

Source:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4764826.stm

9:23 PM  
Blogger StupendousMan said...

Friggin hilarious man!!! i'm definitely coming back here.

9:44 PM  
Blogger iyer education said...

super funny post

keep it up :)

11:03 AM  
Anonymous megh said...

dubya, dude, this was ur very first trip to india .... in 2005, u mustve followed columbus's route ;)

10:56 AM  
Blogger Abrar said...

hahah
this is relaly funny!!!
I am so adding you to my blogroll!!

10:58 AM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Thanks to everyone who has commented thus far..i'm chuffed!

Megh, in order to satirize one has to fudge the facts a little..you know what I mean? For the sake of 'funny' one can alter the truth...Hey! that's what FOX news does.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Maria said...

"haha, you're funny, guy!", Bush (out of humiliation).

That bastard!

9:13 PM  
Blogger Destitute Rebel said...

very funy - keep up the good work

9:06 PM  
Blogger Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

lolll! Refreshing!

Do read this post and give me your reflections should you have the time.

http://albaal.blogspot.com/2005/12/french-revolution-in-saudi_113577281150903546.html

5:57 PM  

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