Saturday, March 18, 2006

FOR SALE:

Non-existent WMDs found in Iraq. Hardly used. Looking for buyers specifically in Iran.

Unused conscience, available in pristine condition. The owners do not have any use for it.

Large amounts of faux, incriminating data, generic enough to be adaptable for use against any Middle Eastern country that possesses large of amounts of oil reserves or can accommodate multiple strategic military bases.

Large containers of mainstream media testicles collected over the course of the last 5 years.

Surplus amount of hypocrisy, available for anyone who might be interested.

A special deal on used 'HIGH' Threat Level Alerts available from Homeland Security Advisory Department. Procurement of a box of 10 'HIGH' Threat Levels qualifies you to receive a 'SEVERE' Threat level for free.

Hunting Rifles and cartridges available for sale, as 'undisclosed' owner has recently given up hunting birds.

Large areas of untouched national park reserves available for sale to highest bidder. Comes with pre-approved drilling rights.

Extensively large collection of factual, documented evidence regarding global warming. Never been used.

The constitution. Obsolete piece of historical document of little relevance. Any offer will be entertained.

Priceless collection of Iraqi national treasures (of historical value apparently but any offer will be accepted).

Contract for management and logistics of election rigging (in US and abroad). Always on the look out for best offer.

Last remaining pieces of Human Rights still left over from last year's sale. Already boxed up, shredded and ready to be used as refuse.

The War on Terror. Available for free for mass consumption. Comes with a variety phobias and fears for the general populace.

A lovely box set of the middle class and the poor. All proceeds to go to the foundation of the Repulsively Rich.

The Soul – (ALL SOLD OUT - SORRY!)

11 Comments:

Blogger Shahid said...

Sometimes I read your posts and tears well up. Often it's because I'm laughing. Sometimes, it's because the pognancy and brutality with which your pen-dipped-in-witty-cynicism writes about the situation we face cuts to the core so brilliantly.

10:21 PM  
Anonymous megh said...

what a unique protest!
powerful, passionate, yet remarkably restrained .. and beautifully written ..

you know dude, there's this therapeutic quality to your blog .. (ahh, there must be a better word .. but u know what i mean ?) ..

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Unused conscience, available in pristine condition. The owners do not have any use for it".

I have seen this among the right-wing Christian Bible thumpers, the media and every member of the Godless Bush administration!

12:15 AM  
Blogger Teeth Maestro said...

I simply love the narration - Good job.

You simply Rock

1:00 AM  
Anonymous R.Two Crows said...

I totally agree Shahid, totally!!! Ever since the bushSHIT Crime/War Cartel stole the 2000 Election, the "Spirit of Paul Revere" has been riding rampent through the streets and alleys of America sounding the frightening alarm, "the fascists are coming, the fascists are coming!!! But the sheeple keep following each other off the cliff and I wonder if "they" will ever stop??? or the the frog is BOILING!!!

8:02 AM  
Blogger Davol White said...

This just in! We're now slashing prices on Large areas of untouched national park reserves available. This will no longer be to the "highest bidder". That's right! We're giving it away for cents on the acre. Come and get it! Comes with pre-approved drilling rights.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You're up to your neck in it, right? Too much white noise, too many demands on your time, too many drains on your brainpower, too much porn and scandal and guns and stress and tech and not in a good way because you're all up in the world and the world is all up in you and sometimes you spin and spit and whirl and just can't seem to find the ground. I know how it is." Perfect blog as always Omer-

Thank you for your words- NoninterventionistWriter

7:44 PM  
Blogger Xeb said...

:D
Do you mind if I bookmark you? I want to come back here! Very very funny post!

3:13 PM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

Absolutely brilliant.

Would love to see what you'd expect to be put up fo a garage sale at in Mushington once Bushfires die down.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous AbuNoh said...

Weel done!
After discover your blog, i just want to say, you are fantastic!

5:55 PM  
Anonymous Checkmate said...

No words to congratulate you. Amazing, simply amazing.

11:56 AM  

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