Saturday, February 18, 2006


The 78th Annual Academy awards will be presented on March 5th, 2006 at the Kodak Theatre, and I for one am on tenterhooks. I can't wait till it is all over. The understandable excitement for the Oscars ceremony has resulted in much hair loss and rectal prolapsing amongst all Hollywood bigwigs. This year's selection is rather special as it covers the gamut of topical issues from cowboy manhandling to terrorists with a conscience. You will definitely need to take a box of tissues (and a clean pair of underwear) with you to go watch these films.

With much further ado, I present the nominees for this year's Best Motion Picture Award:

Redneck Mountain
An epic love story, set against the sweeping landscapes of Texas that tells the story of two old, extremely rich men--a Vice President and a lawyer--who meet in February of 2006 while driving through a ranch apparently hunting for birds. They unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, when the VP accidentally shoots the lawyer in the face, mistaking him for a quail. The resulting complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.

The brutal murder of more than a hundred thousand Iraqis and two thousand plus American soldiers in the invasion of Iraq sent shockwaves through the world – and captured the attention of an author named William Blum.The movie covers his journey to create a bestseller ROGUE STATE: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower. Through his extensive research, Blum compiles a detailed list of US governments involvement since WWII in torturing, kidnapping, harboring terrorists, using chemical and biological weapons and utilizing many other lovely foreign policy tools. The book got a recommendation from the most wanted and homicidal of terrorists, Ossama Bin Laden. (I am not kidding!)

Crash (and burn)
A Danish Cartoon(ist). A rightwing-liberal newspaper. A Prime Minister in shock. Thousands of pissed off Muslim protestors. They all clash due to the re-printing of sacrilegious caricatures and over the question of freedom of expression. The protests start out with reasonable and legitimate verbal and written exchange but over the course of a few weeks turn into insanity driven, politically charged riots resulting in damage to property and human life. In the end, most of the protestors have forgotten what they were actually protesting about and end up smashing windows and peoples' heads for the heck of it.

Good Bye and Good Riddance
Taking place in the post 9-11 era of broadcast journalism, the movie chronicles the real life conflict between Bill O' Reilly (of Fox News) and those possessing sanity. With a desire to distort facts and promote sycophancy for the Administration, Bill ends up looking like an ass after each show. The movie is about O' Reilly's spiral downwards in the cesspool of tabloid journalism. Even the famous late night talk show host, David Letterman, known for his irreverent and ridiculous sense of humour, tells Bill, "60% of what you say is crap." (Absolutely true – this actually happened.)

Set in the aftermath of the US invasion of Iraq and the Abu Ghraib scandal, the story follows the secret CIA chartered flights that originate from various European cities (including Munich) to pick up 'suspected' Al Qaeda terrorists to be flown to other (suspect) countries for illegal detention and torture. As the news breaks in the mainstream media of these flights, it is up to the CIA to come up with more creative and innovative ways to cover their tracks (and their ass) in order to continue what they are doing.

As esteemed members of the academy, please submit your vote for the Best Picture and I shall see you all at the Oscars!


Blogger Zakintosh said...

Best Foreign Film: Based on Osama Bin Laughin's autobiography of his early years in Saudi Arabia: Tong In Sheik. The sequel, I Ambush is expected to be filmed this year.

10:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hollywood- it just goes to show you that some wild number 4 combination of Avian Flu/ Monkey Pox/West Nile Virus/Sars could have made her way to New York- and god forbid crept her way through the mid west- and finally land in the North West- so long as it does not bloody affect Hollywood herself- why should they care “the show must go on!”

In our world there are daily earthquakes, mudslides, spread of disease, AIDS, HIV, human trafficking, sex trade, molestation, rape, looting, tornados, tsunamis, layoffs, homelessness, starvation, death, destruction, drug trade, poppy growth, meth growth, coca growth, loneliness, depression, animal cruelty, physical abuse, mental abuse, war, war over religion, land, territories, blood lines, corruption, strong arming, weapons trade, mustard gas, depleted uranium illness, white phosphorous used on innocent children, the all American right to own and operate an suv, a hummer, or even a commercial vehicle but for personal use say to run the kids to soccer practice, gas prices, oil prices, the smile and the ever so omnipresent background laughter of our number 43 president.

Hollywood’s red carpet moment or- actually thinking about and dealing with all of the above?

Olive Ream- you sum things up much better than I do. Thank you for that- your blog is fantastic.

Now if only Whittington had mistaken Cheney for a quail…….


10:34 AM  
Blogger Fahd Mirza said...

atta correlation, very nice and though provoking.

I wonder that might some hollywood producer take a cue from here.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Hiren said...

Very comprehensive and interesting.

For the first time, in the history of Indian Cimea, a movie of International standards like "Black" was made and it had a good chance ot making it to the oscars. I can't understand how a film like "Paheli" was chosen instead.

We could have at least begun our innings there.

5:07 AM  
Blogger Fahd Mirza said...

In my opinion, paheli as well as black dont deserve to be chosen for oscar.

11:57 AM  
Blogger Demi Goddezz said...

crash! JUS LOVED IT...

11:21 PM  

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