Thursday, January 26, 2006

A ROOM WITH VIEW-POINTS (Random Thoughts)


DAY:
-Another day, another dollar (in someone else's pocket).
-A new personal discovery; the rate of hair loss is directly proportional to the increase in waist size.
-Watching CNN while having my breakfast is a good idea. It gives me an upset stomach and keeps me regular. (Wonder what would happen if I switched to watching Fox?)
-Traffic is becoming not only a test of my nerves, but is an adequate screening process for possible candidates for the insane asylum (… and I don't even drive).
-John Bolton's mustache is like a privet hedge. I think it veils his Hitler mustache underneath.
-Work, work, work… (must attempt to do some, sometime today).
-Bush should be invited to watch Brokeback Mountain. (I have a feeling Karl Rove might be interested.)
-Money, money, money… (must attempt to save some in this lifetime).
-47 unread emails in my inbox (wow!) …. Only two of them were relevant (sucks!)
- Met a new client today. Have to add another name to the list people I need to avoid for the rest of my life.
-Another new personal discovery; the car ride is painfully slower when heading back home.
-Home is where the heart is… (in addition to my laptop and my ADSL net connection).


NIGHT:
-Is it hot tonight or is it global warming?... (it's effing January!)
-400 channels but nothing worth watching (but one of these days, I am bound to get lucky…and drop my television out the window of my 8th floor apartment).
-Dan Quayle is a Project for New American Century signatory. Why doesn't that surprise me?
-Department of Homeland Security is making us all feel rather insecure.
-Blogging is cathartic. It is the bastard child of Technology (internet) and Psychotherapy (the need to rant to a shrink).
-Email CNN and suggest that Wolf Blitzer interview Noam Chomsky, Robert Fisk and Greg Palast on the same show… (if that were ever to happen Wolfy's little head would explode with frustration and dismay).
-Precision guided missiles?... (then how come the US consistently bombs the wrong targets?)…. Central severely lacking Intelligence Agency.
-Corporate Sponsorship is not getting its due credit in the media, for example, "The US President is brought to you this week by Haliburton in cooperation with the US Military Industrial Complex" would sound rather good before GWB's press briefing.
-It is my observation that according to most Talibanists, the length of beard growth is directly proportional to the amount of piety one possesses. This rule applies to most religious fundamentalists.
-Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. But what if the victim has incurable insomnia? (...like myself)

Friday, January 20, 2006

PUBLIC APOLOGY

Never, and I mean NEVER, go in to recorded chinwag with a public radio station without being prepared. I cannot fathom, what possessed me to do this interview. I wasn't pressured into doing it, (there was no gun to my head), and neither was I promised a large amount of money (wire transfer to a Swiss bank account) for this chat yet somehow some evil, conniving voice inside my head, ("Go on, do it! I dare ya!"), convinced me that I would be able to contribute in a healthy political discourse.

After this telephonic interview, which lasted nearly an hour, I was left with this overwhelming feeling that I sounded like a complete and utter prat (a lot more than usual). The host, to his credit, tried his level best to incite some decent responses from me to fairly well thought-out questions but all he got in return were nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind. I'm having nightmares just thinking about it. My answers reflected as much political profundity as Bill O' Reilly, meaning I ended up sounding like a total ass!

So, for those of you who ended up on my site, because you heard the interview, I would like to profusely apologize for not having made sense and for offending you with my incoherent rant. I promise not do it again. For the sole listener who was adequately impressed with my verbal tirade, I appreciate your support but you are biased because you happen to be my spouse.

For those of you who have no clue what I am on about, please ignore this post and continue with your reading of the other articles on this site.

And finally, to Chelsea Merz (show producer), thank you for this opportunity and for your kind words, and to Chris Lydon (show host), for your patience and tolerance. I want you both to know that it wasn't your fault, as I didn’t even have any idea as to the level of my incompetence. I just hope you are able to edit out all the words that I said between "Hi Chris" and "Bye".

Now, I am off to register for an elocution and public speaking class, so please excuse me.

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At the risk of personal humiliation (in case my interview is available online), I would still like to thank www.radioopensource.org for the opportunity to speak out. I believe the idea behind this radio program is very cool and encourage everyone to support their site and contribute. (Just don't try to source my interview for your entertainment – it isn't nice to laugh at someone's misfortune).

Update Jan 21st, 2006 - Due to an incessant request from a dear friend I have had to insert a link to my interview in the post above. This wasn't my idea and you have been warned.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

A NOSTALGIC LOOK FORWARD

It is 2006 A.D. A.D., according to my book of references, stands for 'Aedas Demento', (Latin for Age of Insanity), which is quite apt, as that is how the mischievous global elitists had envisioned are future to be. With the coincidental convenience of terrorism threatening primarily every G8 country, it is the responsibility of the only benevolent, freedom-loving, superpower to pre-emptively strike specific sovereign nations in order to spread a whole lot of peace and love in the world.

So what is in store for us for the coming year(s)? More of the same, I am happy to report. The naughtiness of a specific oil producing Middle Eastern nation will be addressed with due care and attention. Once freedom and democracy has been spread all across this country, with the possible use of tactical nuclear weapons, peace and harmony will prevail via strict enforcement of martial law or continuous foreign military presence.

Large media companies will continue to merge until one day only one enormous Zeppelin media entity exists which will own the broadcast rights to everything on this planet. News will be presented as a form of a highly entertaining Reality Television show with continuous coverage of only the military's view point of the successful War on Terror, with embedded journalists reporting live from the press room in the Pentagon.

As part of the continued War On Terror (WOT), citizens will be encouraged (by means of a friendly threat to their life and livelihood) to allow themselves to be spied on, not only by the global superpower but by their respective governments as well. This voluntary global spying network will ensure that the government(s) can foil any future terrorist ploys and thereby protect you from yourself by kicking you straight into your civil liberties. (Ouch!)

With further elimination or total disregard of environmental laws, lovely climate changes will continue to take affect through out the course of the coming year(s). World citizenry will be able to enjoy more flash floods, hurricanes, rising sea levels, volcano eruptions, earth quakes, snow storms and other extreme weather phenomena. A fun evening for all families, you'll agree. The depleting ozone layer will help facilitate a longer-lasting and a bronzy-er tan so people can maintain a year long George Hamilton appearance.

An added advantage of the natural disasters will be to influence the less spiritual. The apocalyptic signs of disasters around the world will convince the non religious to finally be scared into attending their respective places of worship (mosques, temples, synagogues, churches, and the representative branch offices of the Church of Scientology or L. Ron Hubbard's house, whichever is closest).

All these delightful world events will indisputably take place in our lifetime, which is why the Meek have decided to congregate for their first annual meeting this year. They need to formulate all their plans in time to inherit the earth (or whatever is left of the earth after the Neoconic Empire is done with it).