Wednesday, December 14, 2005

PENTAGON APPAREL AND ACCESSORIES

With our resounding success in influencing meek little minds of our national populace through the exploitation of our mainstream media, we, at US Special Operations Command (USSOC), feel that it is the right time to target the subservient intellect of the international world population in order to influence them to support our (what some might consider farcical) US foreign policies.

In this regard, we shall be scratching backs, turning knobs, twisting arms, pulling hair, kicking ass, and spending $300 million to basically spread 'the word' through international media. In addition, USSOC has also decided to launch a special line of clothing, (t-shirts with pro-US slogans), under the international banner of 'Pentagon Pret-a-porter'.

With great pleasure, we present to you, a preview of our t-shirt slogans from our debut summer 2006 collection.

-Just a goddamn piece of clothing
-THINKING; just don't do it
-Trust us; we know what YOU are doing
-Don't say No to GITMO
-Torturers R US
-For unknown, clandestine destinations – Fly CIA
-Who are you going to believe? US or the facts
-You are either with us or… Forget it; you are with us, period!
-Spreading Freedom through the use of Depleted Uranium Bombs
-For your new year's resolution, try giving up your rights!
-Pollution rules!
-Martial Law and Order
-World Bank Loans… in 40 million easy installments!
-Make Trade Fare
-Stop beating around the BUSH…. and CHENEY

For Fall 2006, we are planning to launch our new line of Propagandist Underpants. These are specifically designed to provide US support in just the right places.

5 Comments:

Blogger Anwaar Hussain said...

You outdo yourself Omer.

An immaculate post.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

Hilarious! But I feel that the collection would be incomplete without a Ben Laden Tee stating " I AMBUSH"

10:53 PM  
Blogger Shahid said...

hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahaha

man - you outdo yourself yet again. Nobody else has your awesome style brother, keep it up and keep on making my day with your brilliant wit and biting satire.

12:02 AM  
Blogger Hani said...

LOLLLL this is awesome! Your posts are always worth the wait. You for one should NEVER give up writing.

Hope all's well with you.

8:09 AM  
Blogger Hani said...

Btw a new entry is up! Go lookie :)

2:18 PM  

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