Tuesday, December 06, 2005

CHINWAG: Conversation with Strep Throat

ST: Pssst! I’m over here.

Me: Sorry, I didn’t see you there. It is so bloody dark in here. Why did you want to meet here?

ST: Because multi-storey, vacant parking lots are the ‘in-thing’ for secret rendezvous of government insiders and mainstream journalists.

Me: Yes, but you work at the drive-through window at McDonalds, and I am sporadic blogger, so why the precaution?

ST: Because it is necessary! Tell me, are we safe?

Me: I don’t know about you but I always use protection.

ST: No, you fool; I mean did you ensure that you were not followed?

Me: Certainly. I changed 4 buses and 2 taxicabs to get here, and I live only half a block away.

ST: Good! So what did you want to ask me?

Me: I wanted to know, who is really behind all these international terrorist attacks?

ST: No. We have to play this game my way; you tell me what you know and I will let you know if you are on the right track.

Me: Okay. Is ‘Evil Ideology’ behind these attacks?

ST: Yes, in addition to ‘Wicked Theology, ‘Rancid Proctology’, and ‘Morbid Ornithology’.

Me: Bastards! This ubiquitous terror threat does not make any sense. No one is safe. What purpose does it serve to murder and kill innocent people?

ST: Hey! The Bush Administration is fighting to spread freedom and democracy in Iraq, so the death of the insurgents is a necessity! They are expendable.

Me: Dude, I was talking about the terrorists killing innocent people.

ST: Oh! Yes, the death of innocent people is always a tragedy. All human life is very precious.

Me: But you just said that the insurgents are expendable…

ST: Never mind that! Do you have any other questions for me?

Me: Yes. What about all these CIA flights? Are they actually kidnapping alleged terrorists and flying them to other countries for torture?

ST: Certainly not! Those are just recreational excursion flights for individuals who volunteered to be flown by CIA to holiday destinations for a bit of R & R.

Me: R & R? Rape and repression?

ST: Get serious! You heard what Bush and Condi said right? The US Administration does not torture detainees!

Me: Yes, they get other contemptible corrupt governments to do it for them.

ST: Not true!

Me: You're right, I forgot about Gitmo.

ST: You better watch your mouth. You can't make statements like that.

Me: What about freedom of speech?.....freedom of expression?

ST: Look, everyone is allowed to speak their mind, as long as they don't criticize the Administration. Freedom can only be fully enjoyed if you regurgitate the mainstream view point.

Me: So what do you recommend, I start listening to Rush Limbaugh to formulate my political opinions?

ST: Why not? He's already got them formulated for you?

Me: But true patriotism is speaking up against the wrongs committed by your own government.

ST: Who told you that? Don't be such a Chomsky! True patriotism is not questioning authority.

Me: Fine. So I'll just stop thinking then, shall I?

ST: Why not? You'll be much happier.


Blogger Zakintosh said...

The only problem is these imaginary conversations are not as way out, though. I can manage to list a number of people who could substitute for Strep Throat.

10:52 PM  
Blogger Ramana Siddharth said...

the scary thing is this situation is not at all hypothetical..

7:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

if your country blocks internet sites, use this proxy to bypass the censorship.
give it to everybody in emarite and enjoy freedom of speech.

1:32 AM  
Blogger Shahid said...

R&R - Rape & Repression - utter genius, I was almost crying with laughter. Friend, you have a gift. I love these dialogues you come up with!

btw - guess where http://www.evilideology.com points to? ;-)

11:08 PM  
Blogger Viks said...

That was sick! loved every bit of it :-)

Job well done!

4:19 AM  

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