Saturday, October 01, 2005

FLORIDA - MAKE MY DAY

The epitome of advanced and cultured society, the state of Florida has implemented a new law for the protection of its citizens. Described as the ‘Shoot First’ (and don’t bother asking questions later) Law by the Brady Campaign, this new law “… eliminates the duty to avoid the threat and, instead, allows the gun user to 'shoot first' to eliminate the threat.” How supremely wonderful!!(I hear you say.) I wish we had the same laws in our state but obviously we are not so lucky to have the President’s brother as our Governor to help support the implementation of such a law.

The law was championed by an organization that is prominently known for its erudite group of members (who only rival MENSA in their intellect). That’s right! You guessed it; I am talking about the National Rifle Association (NRA). The NRA supporters of the law have christened it the ‘Stand Your Ground’ (and fire indiscriminately) Law. “The law also makes it legal for someone to use deadly force against anyone who unlawfully or forcefully enters their home or car — even if they are not being attacked.” I know you all are soiling your pants with excitement with that one.

Mark this very special day on your calendar because from this day forth, the ‘Castle Doctrine’ (which enables the right of residents to protect their homes by shooting intruders) has now been extended to public places so if people feel threatened with death or bodily harm, they may shoot to kill. So if you are a Floridian, and you decide to take a stroll outside in public place, and just happen to notice a man smoking a cigarette in your near vicinity, you may have the right to go ahead and put two bullets in his forehead (at close range) because second-hand smoke causes ‘bodily harm’ and you have the right to defend yourself. But don't pull out your gun in excitement just yet, as the jury is still out on this scenario. No one has a clue as to how ridiculously this current law might be interpreted by the gun-owning residents of Florida.

The NRA is so pleased with the enforcement of this new law that they are planning to change their slogan to “Guns don’t kill people, Floridians do!”

Obviously, the criminals are worried about this new law. “Before, I just used to go ahead and mug people at gun point but now with this new law in place, it is going to be very difficult for me. I mean, I will have to change my tactics because the average citizenry will now be ‘packin’. So what I’ll be doing from now on is shooting people dead the instant they try to fight back because as you know the new law allows me to protect myself from death and bodily harm. As a Floridian, gun-owning mugger, I have decided to abide by this new law and use it to my advantage.”

Florida Billboards now advertise:

Welcome to the Florida – the Sunshine State. Known for orange juice, beautiful beaches, frequent hurricanes, rigged election results AND citizenry brandishing heavy weaponry and possessing itchy trigger fingers. We hope you enjoy your stay!

9 Comments:

Blogger Hani said...

And this has been practiced before in the UK too I suppose. Remember that dude who was shot to death just cos he was running to catch the train and apparently the cops thought he looked like the "terrorists"

This whole paranoia after 9/11 and 7/7 is just too much. And Gov. "Bush called it "a good, commonsense, anti-crime" law" What does the moron know about common sense and anti-crime?! Can we please look at the history of US attrocities inflicted on other countries...anti crime, HA!

Since when does the monkey have common sense? Thats news to me.

1:40 AM  
Blogger Shahid said...

Great post as usual Omer. I needed a laugh today and your little mugger scenario gave me that.

Hani - the man who was shot to death was Jean Charles de Menezes. He was actually executed. And at no point did he run for the train. Furthermore, the police at no stage thought he posed a threat, as he was not wearing a heavy jacket or rucksack. He wasn't even warned. You will find plenty of articles (with foul language) on the subject of Jean Charles de Menezes at my blog. It's quite involved.

2:39 AM  
Blogger Zakintosh said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:18 AM  
Blogger Hani said...

Shahid - can you link me to the specific blog entry?

8:07 AM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Hani,
Although there are several posts by Shahid addressing the issue of the Jean Charles de Menezes murder, you may review the link provided below for a summary:

http://www.suspectpaki.com/2005/08/vindication-nation.html

(copy and paste in browser address field)

8:24 AM  
Blogger Ramana Siddharth said...

hi omer!i saw a michael moore movie called bowling for colombine just a few days back..it looks at why americans are obsessed with guns..it was shocking..i was shocked 2 read what u have mentioned abt the new law in florida.obviously nra is just interested in increasing the profits of its member gun companies..i like the honest,no nonsence way in which u write.

stop by my site sometime if u r interested..

7:12 PM  
Blogger ada-paavi!!!! said...

hi omer, nice post, wuite shocking that the law has been implemented!! its crazy,rite to shoot at the slight feeling of threat?? only the NRA is goin to benefit.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Hani said...

thanks omer for the link.

7:26 AM  
Blogger Shahid said...

He Omer, the new banner for your site is awesmoe, the best yet by far!

3:54 PM  

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