OPEN MOUTH; INSERT ARMY BOOT
With the successful completion of the United Nations World Summit of 2005, (which concluded with a loud whimper), we can now all rest easy in our beds knowing that nothing really conclusive has been achieved by the world leaders (as per usual).
The only thing that really made news around the world was President Musharaf's now infamous quote to Washington Post. There was a loud thud that reverberated around the world as collective jaws of the people (especially Pakistani women) hit the floor. To say we were all flabbergasted would be an understatement. In Pakistan, hospitals emergency wards were inundated with patients suffering from massive coronaries and violent vomiting spells due to the resulting shock and dismay.
Nothing and I mean NOTHING, can justify, qualify, or excuse such a retarded response to a question relating to the serious issue of rape victims in Pakistan. President Musharaf, has since clarified his position by claiming that he was "misquoted". We all hope (as Pakistanis) that this is true, and that somehow the Washington Post reporter, high on mixture of alcohol and drugs, decided to type these offensive words demeaning Pakistani women and wrongfully associate them to Musharaf.
Even if Musharaf was narrating the words of someone else, and he is not of the same opinion, the IQ has to drop sharply below double digits for one to repeat such nonsensical views in front of the foreign press.
Apart from the massive anger it generated, the following incident occurred as a direct consequence to this idiotic quote appearing in print.
X: Good morning.
Mr. Y: Good morning, how can I help you?
X: I'd like for you to issue me Canadian visa please.
Mr. Y: Well, first you will have to provide us with a completed visa application form and related required documents, before we can assess if you qualify for visa.
X: I qualify, I have been raped.
Mr. Y: What?!
X: Yes, raped! And as you are well aware, Mr. Musharaf said that if I 'get myself raped', I will be granted a Canadian visa.
Mr. Y: That is utter rubbish and is highly offensive!
X: Alright, then what about the million dollars? I can at least get the million dollars right?
Mr. Y: Absolutely not!
X: Oh man, what a jib! You mean I don't get anything for getting myself raped?
Mr. Y: No. And by the way SIR, who may I ask raped you?
X: The system! … "The meek shall inherit the earth?" Not bloody likely. I can't even get a visa to Canada!