Sunday, July 24, 2005

CHICKEN SH** FOR THE SOUL


BOOK REVIEW:

Title: Chicken Sh** for the Soul – 101 stories to Open the Bowels and Rekindle the Hatred
Compiled and Edited: Bubba Bush & Tony Prick
Publisher: Global Elitist Refuse House of Publishing & Marauding

A fine collection of heart-warming, stomach-churning, vomit-inducing lies that help uplift your blood pressure, while shrinking your thought process to that equivalent of a retarded gold fish.

The main theme prevalent in this imbecilic collection of fabled fables is the global threat of terrorism. In order to fully appreciate this book, the reader must surrender all rational thought, dwell in paranoia and possess a single digit IQ. To help achieve this state of mind, a small collection of hallucinogenic drugs are provided with each hard back version.

Some of the masterpieces in this fine collection of drivel include:

- The convenience of blaming Al Qaeda for everything from a terrorist attack to a paper cut
- How to avoid questioning authority and learning not to think for yourself
- How to demean a religion and its followers in a devious way
- How to include the words “great resolve” in a speech following a terrorist event
- The benefits of a National ID card including a 10% discount on socks at your local BHS outlet
- 3 Easy ways to sell out completely – for the mainstream media
- The Freedom to vote (for pre-selected candidates)
- The use of Depleted Uranium (DU) Bombs and its related health benefits
- Committing Torture – An effective form of stress relief for our military.
- Human rights and other fallacies
- What climate change?
- Play your part in promoting Globalism, (you know you want to!)
- Trust no one but your government
- Why Billionaires are good for the economy
- How extremely rich musicians can help extremely rich G8 leaders pretend to care about ending world hunger

Price: Free (including frisking and man-handling)

Order your copy today!
[ Selected for Oprah’s Book of the Month Club]

5 Comments:

Blogger Shahid said...

lol! as ever, worth the wait, wonderful!

Other items worth putting into volume 2 of the above might include:
- Public Executions: How the reintroduction of this long forgotten form of entertainment will keep the slumbering masses from ever rising above their slumber to truly think
- The Power of Labels: How a playground taunt of "Conspiracy Theory" to any dissenting voice is better than a sex smear campaign of Clintonesque proprtions
- I slap your back, you shoot mine: A great technique of mind control. Don't underestimate the power of betrayal!

7:34 PM  
Blogger Daithí said...

Clever, by all means. But way too true to be funny.

Might I suggest a subtitle?:

Bonfire of the Liberties

But then gain, you can save that for the sequel.

Keep up the good work!

And keep on writing while it's still legal (and then some!)

http://www.petitiononline.com/noorkhan/petition.html

http://gaelicstarover.blogspot.com/2005/07/link-to-leak.html

7:49 PM  
Blogger Sin said...

As one of my friends in DC once pointed out during a particularly bad thunderstorm that had traffic alerts raised to "Orange" (etc. etc.)..."God, the next thing you know, Bush will declare this to be Iraqi attack rain; just look at all the terror it's inspiring."

At the time I laughed. It's too true to be funny anymore. Your post however, is still pretty fucking awesome.

10:13 PM  
Blogger Kate-A said...

Lol. Can I have the frisking more than once? I'm a widowed grandmother and need to be a bit more frisky....

12:47 AM  
Blogger Hani said...

lol thats awesome and sad at the same time.

And don't stop writing, you have some great stuff here!

4:43 AM  

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