Tuesday, May 17, 2005

WELCOME TO PAX AMERICANA

Server: Welcome to Pax Americana. My name is George and I will be your server this evening.

Me: Hi George. May I see the menu?

Server: Sure, here you go.

Me: Thank you.

Server: So, what would you like this evening?

Me: Could you give me a minute to look through the menu?

Server: No problem, take your time. Our specials for today are WMD Stockpiles in Oregano Vinaigrette and Roasted Terrorists with Pomegranate Sauce.

Me: Thanks! But I’d rather read from the menu and….

Server: The chef recommends the War On Terror with Tomatoes and Mint Dressing. It is absolutely delicious!

Me: Well, I tried that the last time and I found that the War On Terror is a little difficult for me to swallow. Can you recommend something light?

Server: Alright. Let’s see…. We have a mouthwatering Spicy Axis Of Evil and Broad Bean Soup.

Me: Hmm…sounds tempting, but I’m afraid Axis of Evil might cause me flatulence as it sounds like a lot of hot air.

Server: I would also recommend our appetizing Iran’s Nuclear Threat with Goats Cheese and Tarragon.

Me: That sounds a bit too unbelievable for my taste. Maybe, I’ll just have a grilled cheese sandwich.

Server: Would you like Lies with that?

Me: No thanks; the sandwich will be just fine.

Server: But sir, all our meals come with Lies, and there’s no extra charge.

Me: Sorry but no! The Lies make me nauseous and I find them quite disgusting.

Server: May I also suggest our new dessert with your meal, a delectable slice of Democracy & Freedom Cake with Almond Cream.

Me: I’m sure others might feel it is worth dying for, or more appropriately, worth killing for but I certainly don’t think so. I think I just lost my appetite. I don't need anything right now so I’m just going to leave.

Server: Oh, no! That’s a darn shame. Well, maybe you will come back another time.

Me: Not blood likely!

2 Comments:

Blogger Anwaar Hussain said...

Your post, Omer, is so hilarious that were it not for the irony of it, I would have died laughing.

Keep it up.

11:20 AM  
Blogger the olive ream said...

Thank you very much. Your work inspired me to start this blog (honestly).

11:59 AM  

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