Saturday, May 07, 2005

THE RETURN OF THE TOMB RAIDER

Hollywood star and UN goodwill ambassador Angelina Jolie met with President Gen. Musharaf at his office in the capital Islamabad, to discuss the fate of millions of Afghan refugees currently residing in Pakistan.

Musharaf: Welcome to you, Miss Jolly!

Jolie: Thank you Mr. President, and its ‘Jolie’ not Jolly.

Musharaf: Oh! I’m sorry, Ms. Jolie. Must have been a typo on my daily briefings. I’ll have my secretary shot immediately.

Jolie: Oh no! that’s not necessary!

Musharaf: Just kidding with you, Miss Jolie.

Jolie: Mr. President, I wanted you to know that UN is very grateful to Pakistan for playing host to the millions of Afghan refugees. The plight and the welfare of these refugees is a matter of utmost importance to the UNHCR.

Musharaf: Believe me Miss Jolie, when I tell you that this ISSHOO is very close to my heart as well and…

Shuakat: (from behind the sofa): And mine!!

Musharaf: Holy Shrine! Mr. Aziz, what are you doing here?!

Jolie: Hello Prime Minister, nice to see you again.

Shuakat: Hi Angelina. I just thought I’d be present in this meeting to help you reiterate the importance of the Afghan Refugee issue.

Musharaf: Yeah right! We all know why you are here Shaukat, so cut the crap!

Musharaf: So, as I was saying, I believe that UNHCR should…

Jolie: EEEEAAAHH!!

Musharaf: What’s the matter, Miss Jolie?

Jolie: There’s someone behind the curtain.

Musharaf: Come out at once, whoever you are.

Sherpao: Hello Angelina! I thought I’d be present as well during this meeting as the Afghan Refugee issue is of grave concern to my family members and me.

Musharaf: Miss Jolie, let me introduce to our Interior Minister, Mr. Aftab Sherpao.

Jolie: We’ve met already. I had meeting with him earlier today.

Musharaf: Oh you have, have you?

Sherpao: Yes, but we never finished our conversation. I have a lot more information on the subject of Afghan refugees…

Musharaf: Shut up and go sit over there.

Musharaf: Now, before I start, are there any other persons hiding in this room that I should know about.

Shaukat: No.

Sherpao: None.

Jolie: Not that I am aware of.

Rashid (from under Musharaf’s desk): Yes!

Musharaf: Whooaa!! Who’s under there? Get out, now!

Rashid: Ms. Angelina, I am Shiekh Rashid. Slamaalekum! I am the Federal Minister of Information and Broadcasting, and I am an Afghani Refugee.

Musharaf: What?!

Rashid: Uh, I mean, I have all the information on Afghani Refugees you will ever need to know or broadcast.

Jolie: Pleased to meet you.

Rashid: Really?!

Musharaf: Sheikh saab, mouth shut! Go stand in the corner.

Musharaf: So, Miss Jolie, as I originally intended to say, I think it would be appropriate that UNHCR maintained refugee camps should be relocated to areas within Afghanistan and…

Rashid: Angelina, they are saying that, you are having one affair with Brad Pitt?

Musharaf: Rashid, shut it!

Angelina: Mr. President, I agree with you that the camps ought to be stationed inside Afghanistan. The UN is certainly grateful that Pakistan has for so many years helped the refugees in…

Rashid: Ms. Jolie, can I get one autograph for my nephew?

Jolie: Sure, what’s his name?

Rashid: Just make it out to ‘ my beloved Sheikh Rashid'

Musharaf: That’s it! I’ve had enough! Ms. Jolie, I think it would be appropriate if we carry on our conversation at my residence. We can have a spot of lunch as well.

Shaukat, Sherpao and Rashid (in unison): Can we come?

Musharaf: NO! It will just be Miss Jolie and me….. and of course, Mrs. Musharaf and her bridge club.

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