Saturday, April 30, 2005

TEXAS KICKS ASS!

For years I kept all my nonsensical rants well hidden within the pages of my personal journal. Then, one fateful august morning, while surfing the net for information on the mating habits of a typical White North American Senator, I quite accidentally, double-clicked myself on to a web site that changed my life forever.

This was no ordinary web site; it was an online journal, more popularly known as a blog, of an individual of North American decent, who had deemed it appropriate to share his daily thoughts and insights with the rest of the world. Although the commentary primarily focused on married life, the blog often swayed towards analysis of the US political scene. I have had the opportunity to read Fisk, Pilger, Said and even Chomsky but I had never come across intellect of this level. Reading the blogger’s words for the first time, not only resulted in considerable hemorrhaging within the most uncultivated regions of my brain but it also caused my unsuspecting rectum to prolapse.

Let me take this opportunity to provide you with a sample of his work:

Monday, April 3rd, 2004

Bitch! …forgot to buy beer again. What the f**k am I gonna to do now? There’s nothin good on tv. I watched the news again last night. What the f**k?! I don’t know what the hell is goin on over there in Irak. I mean we kicked their ass…yeahhh! But how come we’re still there? We should just nuke the place and get the hell out..f**k yeaahhh!

Bitch! ..just because we’ve got 3 kids, she wants me to marry her. I ain’t doin no such thing. I would only end up divorcing her the next day. I think I’ll just have to join the army to get away from her and those damn kids. At least I’ll get my own gun and then I can kill some stuff, f**k yeah!


Unfortunately for us, this blog disappeared after only 23 entries in 8 months of being online. Apparently, it was taken down after the author decided to post nude pictures of his unsuspecting girlfriend, and as a result, got sued by her parents.

In deep respect for the anonymous author and in memory of the “Texas Kicks Ass” Blog, I decided to start my own blog and post my own drivel for the world to read. By the world, I mean people who have access to the internet and who know the address to this blog. More specifically, I mean members of my immediate family who are forced at gunpoint to routinely view this site. F**k yeah!!

1 Comments:

Blogger Shahid said...

Not just your family anymore! What have you done!

Love your blog. Keep writing.

Suspect Paki

5:26 AM  

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