Sunday, April 10, 2005

GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER

Sharon meets with Bush this week at the president's ranch in Crawford, Texas. It has been reported that the leaders will discuss the issue of evacuation of Israeli settlements in Gaza and West Bank. Yeah, right!

The meeting will likely go like this:

Sharon: Hi George.

Bush: Ariel, you fat SOB, long time no see. Welcome to my ranch, or as I call it my Love Shack.

Sharon: Cut the crap George, and lets get down to business.

Bush: Sure, why not. But before we start, can I get you a drink?

Sharon: Yes, Pepto-Bismol on the rocks. Got a bad case of heart-burn and foul taste of bile in mouth. Freaking ulcer is acting up again.

Bush: Ariel you gotta get some exercise. I freakin’ can’t even hug you because of your enormous belly.

Sharon: Now George, I agreed to meet with you on one condition, that you don’t meddle in our Israeli internal affairs. We are planning to evacuate a few settlements in Gaza, just for show purposes of course, but we are building adequately large number of new Israeli settlements in other areas of the occupied territory, so it all works out in the end.

Bush: Sure man, I hear ya. Wherever an Israeli lays his hat, that’s his home…

Sharon: ….Preferably on Palestinian territory. LOL!

Bush: I got no beef with that. They’ve got me saying all sorts of crap regarding Israel meeting its obligations blah, blah, blah and road map to peace, yada, yada, yada…but you know that is “official” for the world press.

Sharon: So, let’s just quickly discuss our next plan of action. I am getting hungry, I haven’t eaten anything in two hours!

Bush: Holy crap! you must be starvin’…. alright, so let’s just discuss the main issue. Who’s gonna start it up with I-ran. I think you guys should do it.

Sharon: Oh, c’mon! You know we never openly pick a fight. We do it ONLY clandestinely using Mossad. You guys should start.

Bush: Dude, we are already getting our ass kicked in Iraq. The boys there are so shit scared they openly fire on anything that moves, …. or doesn’t move, for that matter.

Sharon: That’s your mess, you clean it up.

Bush: What?!! … You were the only one insisting that we go after Sad-um ASAP. We both wanted him out and he is out. Now I-ran needs to go and you gotta help us. You promised.

Sharon: Alright. We will assist and if you want me to start it up then I am NOT giving you a heads up, ok? You guys ought know when it is time.

Bush: I’m okay with that. So should we start-up with Syria concurrently? I mean it makes sense. Paul (Wolfowitz), Dick (Cheney), Richard (Perle) and Carl (Rove) have all advised me, we should.

Sharon: What do you think?

Bush: Ariel, be serious. When have you known me to think? My PNAC posse does my thinkin’.

Sharon: As they should. I say, you Go for it! Let the Pentagon work out the logistics of it, and let them get back to me.

Bush: Great. So now that our meetin’ is over, how ‘bout some barbeque ribs? We can eat while we watch a movie. How ‘bout Diehard, or Terminator3? I’ve even got the TV series ‘24’ on DVD. It is hard for me to follow but I like those action and torture scenes.

Sharon: Do you have the ‘Passion of the Christ’? ….. I haven’t seen it.

Bush: No but I have the Ten Commandments on VHS.

Sharon: George, you’ve got all this land on your ranch, …..acres and acres of fertile, unused land, and I was thinking that if I could build…

Bush: No way dude! I ain’t lettin’ you build settlements on my land!

Sharon: Antisemite!

Bush: Where?!

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