Monday, April 11, 2005

ADDENDUM TO PATRIOTIC ACTS I AND II

As part of the rules and regulations sited in Patriotic Act I and II, the following amendment is to be included as stipulated in the revised version of the Enhancement of Domestic Securities Act of 200*.

“Enemy Combatant” definition to include all individuals residing in the USA who fall under the following classification:

- People with long, flowing beards
- People in possession of curly hair and thick lips
- People with any form of head gear (turban, scarf, veil, shroud, mask, pall or even a blanket)
- People with thick, non-American accents
- People driving cabs in all major cities
- People not registered to vote
- People who are registered to vote as Democrat or Independent
- People who read alternative press news on the internet
- People who think they know what is going on
- People who ‘actually’ know what is going on
- People who think (period)
- An Enemy Combatant’s immediate family, in-laws, 2nd cousins twice removed (from the father’s side), and all their pets
- People who reside within a half-mile radius of some one classified as an Enemy Combatant
- People who campaign for the environment
- People practicing ascetic lifestyles
- People who watch foreign films
- People who know people who watch foreign films
- People who don’t watch Fox news
- People who dislike (or hate) Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh or Bill O’Rielly
- People who don’t dress American
- People who work for Amnesty International or any Human Rights Group
- People who don’t go to church
- People who frequent mosques
- THE FRENCH (cause we just hate ‘em)

As per protocol, the above amendment does not have to be reviewed by the House or the Senate for immediate implementation.

Love & Kisses,
The Justice Department, in association with the Department of Homeland Security and the PNAC.

1 Comments:

Blogger Teeth Maestro said...

Patriotic Act seems the most UnPatriotic burecratic move by the US

2:51 PM  

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